6 week check up

Hey Everyone!
I know I said I was going to be better about updating, but have been having a hard time lately. I wouldn't want anyone thinking I was ready to off myself!! This past week has been much better, but is still filled with challenges unfortunately. I went for my 6 week check up down in Mesa on Friday. I can't believe it has only been 6 weeks! It sure feels like it has been a whole lot longer!! This upcoming week will be my first week without a daily babysitter! Soooo if anyone wants to come bring me goodies or some lunch and junk... I would really enjoy that!! ;-) Anyways, I was put on some new meds again since I have still been having such a difficult time with the old prescriptions. They seem to be working well, but as of last week I have been working on tapering off drugs all together. I just really hate the way they make me feel. If I can just deal with the pain I figure it is much better than all the other effects that have come along with taking them. Unfortunately I am not quite to the point where I can really go too long without taking them. Plus it is so hard to think when I do, my brain is all scrambled! hah! I just took another dose a little bit ago so I hope I will be able to finish this before I end up snoozing on my moms keyboard. :) Anyways back to the doctor... I ended up seeing the same PA that I unleashed all my anger on during my last appointment. She seemed to want to get my appointment done and over with quickly! I was in an awful mood so I didn't mind. Maybe I should have been nicer, but she rubbed me the wrong way from when I first saw her before my surgery. So I don't really feel bad. I still am unable to lift more than 5-10 pounds. When she told me that I just wanted to cry. I feel like I have hardly made any progress at all. I will not be able to be cleared to lift more or do anything else until April 5th. It just seems so far away, and I have two very adorable nephews that I can't pick up to hold. Makes me very sad!! I do get to spend quite a lot of time with them though. We all lay together... take naps together...  they sit on my lap... I sing to them... and thats about all I can do when we hang out. So sad, but I shouldn't complain since thats better than not being able to see them at all. The PA did say that as soon as I am not taking any drugs I can go back to driving. I am a little too afraid to try. I need to be a little more stable on my feet. My poor legs shake when I have to walk up and down the stairs. It is so embarrassing!! My poor muscles are disappearing! She wants me to start walking 2 miles EVERY day now! I told her that I have been having a hard time with just a half a mile each day! I am not sure how I am going to get up to 2 miles everyday!! We walked and walked and walked after my appointment at the chandler mall. I got a new phone also!! My mom and dads treat!! I am one lucky daughter!! Once we finally made it home from Chandler/Mesa, I literally felt like dying!! I was so sore! It was good though because I am pretty sure that was the longest I slept through the night since my surgery! Raquel took me walking at our little Prescott mall yesterday too! Its definitely hard walking for long amounts of time! I had a busy day today as well! I am ready to hopefully pass out and snooze the whole entire night!! And thats pretty much it for now! Oh since I haven't been so great at updating I must say that Gabriel and Danny made me some very cute valentines for valentines day! Along with them I had many friends think of me that day who sent me lots of love!! I have been playing chocolate roulette as a bed time treat almost every night with one of my favorite friends!! I think I have liked only one chocolate in that chocolate box so far haha :) Oh and if any of you are looking for a good show to watch... Revenge is a good one! Its on ABC, but I watched it on netflix and hulu+ Check it out if you're bored!! Anyways... I have reached that point where my eyes want to shut. Time to tackle those darn stairs and crawl into bed!! Thank you everyone for your continued support, thoughts, and prayers! I really feel so blessed to have you all by my side!! I noticed people have been writing on my wall and don't know how I have missed them! My stupid facebook app!! I promise I haven't been ignoring any of you!! I will definitely get back to you when I can!! I hope you all have a wonderful night!!
All my love,
Candice

These are my Super cute valentines from my sweet nephews :) 

My adorable nephews! I just love hanging out with them! They brighten my mood even when I am feeling really sad. I just love all my nephews so very much!! :) 

I was also so very lucky to have been feeling well enough to attend my friends wedding a couple weeks ago! It was my first big outing since my surgery... I was so grateful to have seen so many great friends that day!! I had so much fun! Even though I had to spend most of my time sitting!! Any day I get to get away from my bed is a good day!!

Nick and I had some fun while waiting in the apple store for my new phone :) 

It was nice to get out and have some fun!! 

One of the apple employees photo bombed us! Lol :) 

Love you all and I will make sure to write again soon! I do hope this blog makes sense!! These darn drugs!! 

4 weeks down 16 to go!!

Hey everyone!! I am so sorry it has taken me a while to update you all!! I have been getting lots of texts, messages, calls, and even letters asking how I am doing since I haven't been updating. Well.... since my last blog post I have been to the doctor here in town to make sure I no longer have any infections... she adjusted my meds to see if that would help with my stomach issues. Unfortunately thats still one of my main struggles. I can't even begin to tell you how tired I am of throwing up! Every time it happens I can't help but get super down. It really has taken its toll on my body and is making me miserable. I really wish that all these drugs were no longer necessary and that I could go without them but I still am not there unfortunately. Each time I take a new dosage of prescriptions I can't help but wonder why anyone would willingly want to abuse these drugs. They make me feel absolutely terrible. Maybe they make you feel different when you are not taking them for pain but I still can't imagine why anyone would really want to take them to get high. Something I will never know I guess. Anyways.. friday marked the 4th week after surgery! Its unbelievable! I thought I would be making a whole lot more progress by now. I still have 16 more weeks to go before I can bend and twist again. I thought 4 weeks took forever to get to... lets hope 16 will somehow fly by!! I no longer have to wear a bandage over my incision... I sometimes still wear it to make my back itch a little less when my clothes rub against it. I really want someone to come and scratch my back all over the place!! If only!! My actual incision apparently looks really good. I still think it looks yuck!! We clean it with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol and its still so strange to me that I can only feel the cool sensation in just a couple spots... the rest of my back is still numb. I wonder how long that will last for. I am still getting used to snoozing on my back... I hate all this constant discomfort! Makes it hard to sleep through the night! I have the craziest sleep schedule! All these drugs still make me randomly sleep throughout the day no matter how hard I try and fight the urge to sleep. I seem to be sleeping more than before so maybe that is a sign that I am finally starting to heal!!
I wrote most of this yesterday and today is officially one month since my surgery. I was struggling to stay awake to finish this yesterday but really was not in any kind of mood to do so. This past week I have been shown such gracious love from people I expected... People I would never expect and I can't tell you how helpful it is to be shown such care and concern when you need it the most. I have also surprisingly been more than disappointed by a few that I would never expect. On that note thank you everyone who has faithfully stuck by my side and demonstrated such love, care, and concern. I can't begin to tell you all how much it means to me. Today I am still struggling and really appreciate any continued prayers. I have lost way too much weight and am beginning to kind of worry with my lack of appetite and how much I have to actually force myself to eat. I miss food and wish I could actually enjoy a meal sometime soon! I also need to start walking more so any of you that would like to come take a walk with me just let me know! Speaking of... I think I better get up and try and move. I love you all and will be better at updating my blog from here on out.
love,
Candice

My prescription bags are adding up! I really look like a druggie. Hah

I was shocked to see this number! Makes me feel super loved to have everyone checking in on me so often!

My one walk I took outside this week. I mostly have to do laps around the downstairs to get my required walking in. I am not anywhere close to half a mile each day. Whoops.

And my darn blood pressure is still being a pain! Hopefully we get a handle on things soon! All the pictures I have for now. :-)